i'm a brunette

i had a new 'revelation' today. based on Poppy's theory, brunette is black.

yup. i'm officially a natural brunette.

'hot' (grand)mama

as i was making my daily grand ascent from the MTR platform at admiralty station to the lobby of my office tower (a grand total of 6 levels, and only 2 has escalators to aid the ascent), a most amazing sight (other than the blinged up to the max lady from yesterday) greeted me.

there was this chinese lady, and i place her to be in her mid-sixties. yes, 60s. she had bleached blonde hair with streaks of strawberry pink, and was wearing a space-y looking yellow top with the collar flipped up. she also had on a pair of glittery black sequinned shorts (shorter than bermudas, but longer than hot pants), and shiny patent boots. to complete the ensemble, she had a gold & cream shoulder bag.

wow. this lady has spunk.

bling it to the max

i've just witnessed this unbelievably bling person at the MTR station when returning home from work earlier.

it's A-MAZ-ING.

i first noticed her 'cos she dashed across the platform even though the train wasn't even near approaching. then she stood next to me, right smack in front of the doors. i really don't understand people like that-- how are you going to get in when the people inside are trying to get out???????? (sorry, that's one pet peeve of mine)

and as we were standing there waiting for the next train to arrive, i noticed how blinged-up she was. let me count the ways: sparkly silver hairband, bling crucifix round her neck, bling bling t-shirt, bling belt, bling on her bag, bling bling ring, bling-studded watch, silver sequinned canvas shoes. and she was probably in her mid to late forties.

i. kid. you. not.

and although i'm a pretty bling person myself, please please please just kill me if i ever end up like this in my 40s. or whatever age. just kill me.

lunch hour

i have always marvelled at the very efficient way that fast food outlets in Hong Kong are run. not the macdonald's and KFC's, but the Cafe de Corals and Fairwoods.

for the unacquainted, this is how the system goes in such fast food restaurants:
1) there is a menu board which lists the available items. there are 'evergreen' items, and items that are changed on a regular basis. whenever an item is sold out, the staff will remove it from the menu board.
2) you queue up at the cashier to order the item(s) you want. you will be issued a receipt/coupon to 'redeem' your food items at the food queue.
3) you then proceed to queue up at the food queue to pick up your ordered items. you pass the staff your coupon, and staff A will call out the items over the mic, and place cutlery on your tray. staff B will prepare the rice/soup and place onto your tray. staff C will prepare your drinks and place onto your tray. staff D will retrieve the main dish from the kitchen area (where there is an army of cooks to prepare the food) and place onto your place.
4) you then pick up your tray and proceed to look for seats in the seating area.

this is a very efficient system, and there's also a separate food queue for takeaways. however, because of the sheer density of the population, and the fact that these fast food places offer very good value-for-money, they are always packed, especially so during lunch hour(s).

so in order to ensure maximum efficiency and effective use of the lunch hour, this is usually how i orchestrate our lunch party of 3 or 4 co-workers.

co-worker A: queue up to order items
co-worker B: queue up to pick up food items
co-worker C & D: look around for available seating

all of the above should be done simultaneously to maximize efficiency. after co-worker A gets the receipts/coupons, she proceeds to pass the coupons to co-worker B & joins her in the wait, so that she can help move the trays to the seats that co-workers C & D have found.

i'm not kidding you that this whole process is a very stressful experience. if you are waiting for seats, you'll have to breathe down somebody's neck & shoot 'will-you-hurry-up-and-not-blabber-on" looks at regular intervals (which they will pointedly ignore); if you are the one consuming your lunch (and therefore occupying a precious seat), the abovementioned will be done to you (which you will pointedly ignore). it is a very uncomfortable experience, given that i am a bit more civilized and considerate than the average hong konger (ahem). i usually avoid breathing down somebody's neck (i keep a respectable distance) and i usually try not to take longer than i have to to complete my meal.

also, there is also the instance of having to 'battle' for seats. case in point: lunch earlier. our team of 3 co-workers already have our lunch trays, but co-worker C has failed to secure seats for the party. thus, co-workers A & B both have to join in the foray. so co-worker A (i.e. me) has to stand beside a table of 3 men who were on the verge of finishing their meal but are still blabbering away (actually most of the blabbering was done by ONE of them. who says women are the ones who can't keep their mouths shut???). there was this other guy (X) who was waiting between this table and the next, and i keep trying to catch his eye to signal that 'i've been here first'. unfortunately, X keeps avoiding my gaze. so at long last, the party of 3 blabbering men finished their meal, and left the table. co-worker A (me again) had to do a lightning-quick move to plonk her handbag down on the seat. X looks bewildered and still wanted to claim the seats as his own. so co-worker A said to him "we have 3 persons". X: "huh?" A: "3. 3 persons." X: "oh." and so X moves away.

co-worker B notices that X looked very helpless. co-worker A explains: "survival instincts. no choice. we already have our food, so what did you expect me to do? let him have the seats and then wait on while our food turns cold??"

sigh. i don't like the way i have to behave while in hong kong.

i'm so glad i'll be leaving soon...

of handheld games & game addicts

i've never understood the obsession that Hong Kong has with handheld games. there's the PSP and the Nintendo DS Lite, arguably the 2 most common ones i've seen around.

it's quite an amazing phenomenon here-- you'll see executives dressed in suits whipping out their handheld game consoles in the middle of a packed MTR train, a table of co-workers (i'm talking a table of 9 or 10) all playing with their handheld games while waiting for their lunch to be served, a group of teenagers furiously punching and jabbing at the buttons on their handheld game consoles while waiting for more friends to join them at the MTR station.

i don't have any violent objections to this 'trend', except that 1) said game addicts leave the sound/music ON while playing, causing irritation/disturbance/annoyance to other passengers in the train; 2) said game addicts shove their elbows in other train passengers' faces/chest/back/other applicable body parts in their zest; 3) said game addicts obstructs the way for other commuters since they are so engrossed in their game-playing to care or bother' 4) i think it is quite an anti-social thing to do, especially when hanging out with friends.

ok, this post is quite pointless except that i had to get it off my chest.

p.s. i think it rather un-dignified for a well-dressed, well-heeled executive to be playing (complete with mad tapping on console and tensed facial expressions) 'Diner Dash' or its likes eh?

perhaps it's not meant to be

perhaps it's really not meant to be...

it has been almost 2 weeks... yet still no word.

ideals & 'projections'

just when i was contemplating 2nd chances (or 3rd, for that matter), i came across this post by mykel...

http://theseawithin.blogspot.com/2007/06/ideals.html

interesting...

and so it is

and so it is.

i've just sent the formal notification of my resignation to my boss (aka 'throw letter') proposing that my last day of service in the company is 31st july 2007.

initially i put the date as 10th august. and then i changed my mind because i simply cannot work with the vampires that are my colleagues any more. they simply suck the lifeblood out of me. what's more, i can have more time to go on the holiday(s) that i want, and possibly even accompany my mom to shanghai if she really decides to go.

hmm... sounds good.

i'm having a smile plastered on my face and i can't help it.

teehee.

preparing my exit

as i ponder over when my last day of work should be, it suddenly hit me that i'll be leaving hk very soon. as in, very soon.

i have about 2 months left, and actually, that's not a lot of time. there are things that need to be taken care of, arranged, planned, cancelled, etc.

plus i want to take a short holiday before i move back to singapore. so more planning there.

wow. time flies indeed. in just a little while it'll be time to bid hong kong adieu...

of punctuations & emoticons

have you ever considered the vast difference in the ways that men & women interpret mobile text messages? and sometimes, even email messages. but it's more pronounced in the case of text messages, because the writer usually doesn't have the time or simply just doesn't further elaborate what he/she is trying to convey.

how many times have you sat with your girlfriend (i'm addressing the female population now), mulling over the latest string of text messages or just one single text message that received from a fella? this fella is usually someone the said girlfriend is keen in, or has at least some vague interest in.

you'd mull over every choice of word, punctuation, emoticon (or lack of)... the written word, when in short, concise messages, can be interpreted in so many ways. and punctuation alone can make so much difference.

for example,
1. what are you thinking of [no punctuation; probably neutral; possibly in response to another question, like, 'where do you want to have dinner?']
2. what are you thinking of? [with a question mark; so can be a sincere question, or a cheeky, mischievious one, especially if coupled with any of these emoticons-- :) :-) ;) :P ;P... you get the drift]
3. what are you thinking of?? [with 2 (sometimes more) question marks; may convey confusion, accusation, incredulity, etc, depending on what preceeded the message]

so, see-- there are so many ways things can be interpreted. and it's all subjective. and we have a choice to take it at face value, or choose to read between the lines (although, sometimes there are no lines at all, just line; haha) and find some 'hidden' meaning that may not even be there in the first place.

but men-- they're different, generally speaking. they don't care if there's punctuation or not. they don't care if you put in that smiley emoticon or left it out. it would help them decipher your mood for the day, but hell, it wouldn't kill them if there isn't any. for the women (not all lah), if they don't see a cutesy emoticon in the message, their mind would start to race and 2 dozen questions will start popping up in their heads-- is he angry? is he upset? is he unwell? is he so busy that he can't take 1 second more to add in that bloody emoticon? who's he with? what did i do wrong? does he not care anymore? does he not love me anymore?

are you guilty of that? or know someone who is? i know i am someone who reads way too much into messages-- especially from people i'm interested in. and i'm a keen observer. e.g. if guy X usually messages using T9/predictive text messaging, then the first word, and the word immediately after a full-stop would be have a capital first letter. so if the first word of the message didn't come with a capital first letter, but the words immediately after a full-stop does, then i'd know that he had to revise his message before sending to me. which means that he probably has something that he doesn't want to/dare to say to me, or he changed his mind along the way. something like that. i have a lot of other theories & observations too, but i'll leave those as my little secrets.

muahahahaha....

yes, so i'm a little weird. i've warned you already, right up there with the title of my blog. i'm a little outta touch, a little insane... ;)

absence makes the heart grow fonder (?)

so do you think that absence does indeed makes the heart grow fonder?

or, do you subscribe to the theory that human beings are basically 贱, and therefore always long for what we can't/don't have.

i can't decide which theory to subscribe to. i guess i just have to wait till 'absence' turns into 'presence' again.

catch me if you can

it's a rainy day here in hong kong.

and for that reason, umbrellas have been mushrooming in the streets.

and therefore, the floors in the mtr stations are wet. the mtr corporation sadly doesn't provide umbrella bags for us to slip our umbrellas into to prevent getting the floors wet. i guess that will increase their costs and therefore erode their profits. so they do what's next best-- they loop an announcement made in cantonese, mandarin and english to inform you that due to the weather, the floors are wet; so please exercise caution (not exactly in those words lah, but you get the drift).

and so, i was trying to exercise caution. in fact, i walked slower than i normally do. but still, i slipped (and this is right after i witnessed the fella in front of my slip a little at the exact same spot. although admittedly, i'm a little distracted today). and so, in my bid to regain my balance, i flailed my arms around, and grabbed some random passerby for support, and then, just as i was about to regain my balance, i lost it again. i was sensing impending doom... i. was. going. to. skid. across. the. length. of. the. walkway. and. fall. flat. on. my. back. but then i heard footsteps. running footsteps. the guy i grabbed hold of for support actually did an about-turn and ran after me to prevent my fall. he grabbed hold of me just in time and i'm forever grateful. i looked up and fully expecting to look into the face of a chi-ko-beh fella, but was pleasantly surprised to look into the face of a guy in his late-3os or so. not very tall, and has that educated-overseas look. i think he spoke english to me. although i didn't quite register what. i was just thanking him profusely.

and then when we parted ways, i regained my composure and tried to straighten up my clothing a little and then continued walking (even slower this time). nerves a little frazzled, pride a little dented, and may have pulled a muscle a teeny bit. but other than that, i'm fine.

and to that gentleman (oh, so few of them here in hong kong!!)-- thanks, you were my knight in shining armour for that one brief moment.

girlfriends are still the best-est

girlfriends are still the best-est!

girlfriends are there when you need a hug, need a listening ear, need someone to advise you on what to wear for the date/interview/meet-the-parents dinner/etc, need someone to help you strategize your next move to snag that guy you've got your eye on.

and girlfriends are the ones who'd patiently & lovingly pick up the pieces when you've got your heart broken by that jerk.

when you're sick and alone, girlfriends are the one who'd text you every few hours to check that you're still alive, and cook bee-hoon soup for you...

and when you're bawling your eyes out and kicking yourself for being an idiot again, girlfriends will tell you 'no, you know you're not an idiot', give you sound advice, send you encouraging text messages, and once in a while, a giant bouquet. of calla-lilies, your favourite flowers, no less.

thank you, my lovely lovely girlfriends.

and thanks jade-y, for the bee-ew-tee-fool bouquet.

相爱无梦

this song is sung by Julian Cheung (张智霖) & is the theme song of hong kong drama serial 《西关大少》...

beautiful melody, lovely lovely voice (ok, so i'm biased) and very meaningful lyrics (to me at least, right at this moment) ...

by the way, this song's in cantonese...

____________________________


相爱无梦
- 张智霖


跟你抱着
未等于爱上
不再抱着
未等于不想
你我在这分钟
说过无缘再见
下秒钟再凑巧碰上

即使一起
貌合却又神离
分隔两地
日夜挂着愁眉
再各自结新欢
却暗地拿你去比较现有的
始终偏袒你

有心爱你却爱不到
抱紧了你却又未想终老
再等到与对方失散以后
就会知原来谁最好

爱不到至会更想爱
抱紧了你我又无心装载
我跟你也破不到
男与女之间
爱情的定数

一个过活
恨抱着情人
一对过活
又挂念谁人
到了话要分开
你我尚有恻隐
又再探听对方新闻

解脱

解脱
- 张惠妹

爱是不夜城
回忆像星辰
热泪越沸腾
我越感觉有点冷

变了心的人
越想越伤人
枯坐到清晨
阳光替房间开了灯

想若结局一样
又何苦再想
想若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走
我有自由好好过

解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

想若结局一样
又何苦再想
想若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走
我有自由好好过
心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头
不要爱我的人再担心我

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走
我有自由好好过

解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

great expectations

ex·pec·ta·tion / [ek-spek-tey-shuhn]
–noun
1. the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation.
2. the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.
3. an expectant mental attitude: a high pitch of expectation.
4. something expected; a thing looked forward to.
5. Often, expectations. a prospect of future good or profit: to have great expectations.
6. the degree of probability that something will occur: There is little expectation that he will come.
7. Statistics.
8.the state of being expected: a large sum of money in expectation.

a little (well, not so little) word that encompasses so much. it can give you much joy-- in anticipating something good, something positive, something favorable. but yet, it can bring you crashing down when they are not met.

take a look at your life-- how many times have you been down in the dumps because of unmet expectations, whether of yourself, of others, or things & situations. expectations are generally a good thing to have-- gives you something to look forward to. but yet it's so important to strike a good balance in your expectations. set your standards too low, and they kinda lose their purpose (my view), and set them too high, and risk being disappointed or hurt.

i know i'm guilty of setting expectations on people; especially people who mean something to me, or are special to me. maybe it's a factor of setting high expectations of myself when interacting with them. i know it's not fair and i know it's not healthy, but i guess i'm just wired that way. i'm trying to re-adjust my expectations, even zero-rize them in some cases, but it's really tough. but i guess i need to learn to, to prevent myself from more pain & hurt.

i wanna take things easier, and one way of doing it is lowering my expectations of others, especially those who matter to me.

so wish me luck as i embark on another chapter in the "Growing Up" course...

remedy for swollen eyes

cold spoons.

darn. wish i'd heard of it earlier. wouldn't have to spend so much time trying to de-puff my eyes this morning. and had to do a smoky-eyed look to make my eyes look less puffy/swollen.

bleah.

are you alright

this song brought tears to my eyes when i listed to it just now. maybe it's my raw nerves...

are you alright
- lucinda williams

Are you alright?
All of a sudden you went away
Are you alright?
I hope you come back around someday
Are you alright?
I haven't seen you in a real long time
Are you alright?
Could you give me some kind of sign
Are you alright?
I looked around me and you were gone
Are you alright?
I feel like there must be something wrong
Are you alright?
'Cause it seems like you disappeared
Are you alright?
'Cause I been feeling a little scared
Are you alright?

Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug and kiss you?
Hug and kiss you?
Hug and kiss you?
Are you alright?

Are you alright?
Is there something been bothering you?
Are you alright?
I wish you'd give me a little clue
Are you alright?
Is there something you wanna say?
Are you alright?
Just tell me that you're okay
Are you alright?
'Cause you took off without a word.
re you alright?
You flew away like a little bird
Are you alright?
Is there anything I can do?
Are you alright?
'Cause I need to hear from you
Are you alright?

Are you alright?
re you alright?
Hey...

old emails

life is weird. this morning i woke up in an incredibly good mood and then something happened and my euphoria came crashing down.

and then somehow, it triggered me to look at the old old emails i saved... from up to 9 years ago. and then i realized that i have been loved. i mean, really loved. as i looked through those old emails, i realized that a lot of men really cared for me, as evidenced by the email trails from yesteryears. and then one trail particularly stood out. it was from a senior in varsity, someone i had a crush on. very very nice guy, very caring, very attentive, very sincere, very good guy. and absolutely adores me. i had a crush on him first. but he liked some other girl in the committee we were both sitting in. and then at some point, he started liking me. during exams, he would cycle out of the campus to buy me supper and then appear at my hostel room door with yummylicious supper for me & my roommate.

he used to give me inspirational books, bookmarks, and what-nots. but then slowly, i got scared. cos he was husband material, not boyfriend material. and i hadn't even had my first boyfriend yet! he was the sort you'd want to settle down with... and then one day, he really freaked me out. we were just chatting, and he said that his pastor asked him to serve full-time in the ministry. so i encouraged him to, if he feels that it's his calling. and then he paused. for a significantly long time. and then he asked, "if i take care of the people, i'd need someone to take care of me. will you take care of me?" i froze. i don't remember how i replied him, but i somehow ended the conversation and hung up the phone. i was really really scared.

a couple of years after i had graduated, we somehow got in touch again. from the email, i guessed we bumped into each other at some gate. (i have no recollection exactly which gate) here's how the email began:

"I miss u. Such joy when I caught a glance of you at the gate. Much more came when I received this email. Sorry for the delay though, been really caught up these couple of days."

apparently he had tried to contact me via my pager because he bought me a birthday gift the year before, but i had terminated my paging service by then. he told me that he was still using & re-using an inspirational calendar i got him a couple of years ago. after some updates in the email, he asked to meet up with me soon, very soon. and ended the email with "I miss u" again.

as i read through the slew of emails from him, i realized that this guy was really in love with me, and really adored me. each and every email ended with 'all my luv', 'right here waiting', 'tonnes of luv', etc. you might think it cheesy, but if you really knew this guy, he meant it. of course, the young & stupid me then didn't realize this. i was just too scared and having too much fun dating the "bad boys". i mean, they're not really bad boys, but guys who were obviously wrong for me. i guess at some point i told him i was seeing someone, and then i started to respond very very slowly to his emails. and i guess he took the hint and then the emails ceased altogether.

we still kept in touch thereafter, once in a while. he moved on, of course. he's now married with kids. i'm sure he makes a great husband and father.

too bad i was too young & restless...

but still, it's good to know that i was once much much loved by this great guy.

random things that tickled/annoyed me today

random things that tickled/annoyed me today:

1. 'either' is pronounced as 'ai-da'
2. 'L' (as in the alphabet) is pronounced as 'el-lo'
3. cashier at herbal remedy shop is named 'Coke' (no idea which variety though-- the drug or the soda)
4. fella on 28th floor who didn't get in the lift until the very last minute, and i had to use my quick reflexes to press the 'Open' button in time
5. said fella in (4) didn't even mutter a word of thanks
6. said fella pressed '21' on the lift panel but when the lift stopped at the 21st floor, took forever to register the fact and then shuffled back & forth the threshold of the lift and the lift lobby for about 3 seconds, as if doing a little jig

gossip-mongers, hypochondriacs & what-nots

sigh. the people & pace in HK really drives me crazy.

it's just another typical day. people squeezing and shoving in the MTR train. people who abso-effing-lutely have to read their morning gossip papers in the sardine can-like environment of the train carriage, thus shoving their rag mags into the faces/arms/back/(fill in whatever applies according to victim's height in relation to perpetrator's height). people running across the platform although there is no awaiting train there. people running to be the first to reach the escalator, only to stand on the right side of the escalator to read their gossip rags. GAH!!!

and then, after having to climb up 4 storeys to the lobby of my office building, more annoyance. people who simply refuse to press the "Close" button on the lift panel even thought they are right in front of it. simply refuse. meanwhile, yours truly will try to squeeze the way to the front so as to punch the "Close" button repeatedly while giving said perpetrators a "tsk" look. and today, ho! there was a man whom i believe is a hypochondriac. he used his key to press the floor button, and refused to hold the door open for others trying to get out of the lift by pressing the "Open" button. i wanted to induce a sneeze that will conveniently fall on his hand just to see his reaction. kidding!

anyways, enough of ranting. as an aside note, i'm curious as to whether the army camouflage print is back in trend. in the space of 2 seconds on the escalator, i saw someone wearing pants in said print, another wearing a top in said print, and yet another holding a bag in said print. hmm.

my england powderful no more!

i figured that if i'm to stay here in HK for much longer, my standard of English is really going to degenerate.

i have to speak English really slowly or in a HK/Taiwanese accent in order for my colleagues to understand me. for example, i have to say "car-lar" so that my HK colleagues know that i'm referring to "colour". and i can't say "lift" (as in "elevator"), i have to say "lib". and most of the time, i can't speak in proper English sentences. gosh, i miss that!

however bad Singapore English is thought to be, i realised that at least for my peers & i, we can speak in proper English when the ocassion calls for it. it's just that we prefer to speak in Singlish because it can best express what we feel. try finding an English word to substitute "shiok", or "kena", or "sian"...

so, i have to return to Singapore, and soon... cos i don't want my English to degenerate (any further), and i miss speaking Singlish to folks who can actually understand it!

technoidiot never learns

gaaaaaaaaaah... Poppy the technoidiot is at it again.

she just asked our administrator to email her the "software" of the price list.

good grief!!

when will she learn??? WHEN???