home is where the heart is
so. i'm back in HK. and back to work.
the past 12 days have whizzed past in a jiffy, and now i'm just left with a heavy heart.
this trip home, i realised how much i miss home-- singapore, with all its idiosyncracies, my family, my friends...
no matter how well i can blend into the fabric of HK, i'm still only someone in transit-- here to experience a different life, here to learn something new-- but i'll never feel quite at home. sure it's an exciting city, with a vibrance that singapore lacks, but it can never be a place i can call home.
and this trip home, i realised several things-- 1) no matter how much i complain about things in singapore, it is still the place i want to go back to, and settle down in. 2) i want to move back home soon (maybe in six months? maybe 1 year max?)-- i figured there wouldn't be many more years that i can spend with my aged grandma (she's 90 already), so i'd better spend as much time with her as possible. there's also the fact that i would still like to settle down (yes, in singapore), and if so, i should move back soon & at least i'd be meeting people who are already in singapore. and i also figured that as long as i'm based in hk (or anywhere else for that matter), my holidays will all be spent visiting singapore, which means i won't be going on any proper holidays.
added to the above reasons is that i'm not truly happy with my work. as in, i feel that my hands are tied in so many ways-- internal battles, battles with the licensor, etc etc. as with any licensing agreement, there are many rules & regulations that we have to adhere to, and that would translate to mean very little autonomy. and i'm used to autonomy. so this is not good.
and in yet another epiphany, i realised that i would rather earn less, but in a job i love, then to earn a fat paycheck but be miserable. there's only so much misery one can take.
so, we'll see where this journey takes me. we'll see where God leads.
and in the meantime, i'm missing home already.
and i only got back to HK last night.
the past 12 days have whizzed past in a jiffy, and now i'm just left with a heavy heart.
this trip home, i realised how much i miss home-- singapore, with all its idiosyncracies, my family, my friends...
no matter how well i can blend into the fabric of HK, i'm still only someone in transit-- here to experience a different life, here to learn something new-- but i'll never feel quite at home. sure it's an exciting city, with a vibrance that singapore lacks, but it can never be a place i can call home.
and this trip home, i realised several things-- 1) no matter how much i complain about things in singapore, it is still the place i want to go back to, and settle down in. 2) i want to move back home soon (maybe in six months? maybe 1 year max?)-- i figured there wouldn't be many more years that i can spend with my aged grandma (she's 90 already), so i'd better spend as much time with her as possible. there's also the fact that i would still like to settle down (yes, in singapore), and if so, i should move back soon & at least i'd be meeting people who are already in singapore. and i also figured that as long as i'm based in hk (or anywhere else for that matter), my holidays will all be spent visiting singapore, which means i won't be going on any proper holidays.
added to the above reasons is that i'm not truly happy with my work. as in, i feel that my hands are tied in so many ways-- internal battles, battles with the licensor, etc etc. as with any licensing agreement, there are many rules & regulations that we have to adhere to, and that would translate to mean very little autonomy. and i'm used to autonomy. so this is not good.
and in yet another epiphany, i realised that i would rather earn less, but in a job i love, then to earn a fat paycheck but be miserable. there's only so much misery one can take.
so, we'll see where this journey takes me. we'll see where God leads.
and in the meantime, i'm missing home already.
and i only got back to HK last night.
posted by insomnious at 5:44 PM
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